I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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