we have pet lesbian snakes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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