Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
