I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
