i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
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You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize