Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
