I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How naked do you want me to be?
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