Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
