then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
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I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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