I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
