Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
