is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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