I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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