Farmville is her only friend.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
