apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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