I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
