You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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