the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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