i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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