grandma shit on top of the toilet
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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