I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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