The brown eye won't let me do that either.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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