btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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