I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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