Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
