I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
drinking out of a sandbucket again
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize