Have you finally orgasmed yet?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
