At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
