dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
