nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He better not be in your backpack
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
