Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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