He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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