so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm at about main and main street
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
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