i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
