kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
