Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
