Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
