i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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