remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
