i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think I am morally bankrupt
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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