Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
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so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
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Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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