how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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