We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
