I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
