East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
