the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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