Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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