I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
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Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
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I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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