I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
