Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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