I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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