he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
