i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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