Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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