and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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