woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
