called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize