Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
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Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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