I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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